It's 2011.  Just typing that number seems a bit "sci-fi" for some reason.  The 2000's didn't seem so weird but suddenly the 2010's seem a bit like fiction.  Perhaps it's the number.  Perhaps it's my age (I'll be 40 in a few months).  Perhaps it's because in the last few years, life has suddenly gotten so very real that it seems sur-real.   

I've thought about, casually, what I would like 2011 to be like for me.  For my husband.   For my sons.  I'm finding I have more questions than answers this year.   

How is it that when life gets really really real, it feels more un-real than anything you've ever lived before?  Maybe that's just me.  Maybe that's just getting older and having life happen.  Maybe it's because my life has never been very difficult.  I don't know. I'm curious.

I'm curious what it takes to claw your way back when just about everything you've worked so hard for goes away.  I'm curious what it takes to create something new and powerful while you're in the middle of it.  I want to know how you do all of this gracefully. 



I want to know how you do this for yourself when "yourself" isn't the only person you need to think about.  I want to know how you support someone else who's going through the same thing when both of you are just trying to put one foot in front of the other every day and figure out not only how you got here but how you get to where you want to be.  And probably most of all, how do you do it honestly, authentically with those around you without being a total downer or just hiding away when things aren't going your way? 

If you know me, you know that I don't keep much private.  I share my life and yearn for others to share theirs.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  Without judgement.  For me, this is the best way to learn and, hopefully, contribute.  Whether we agree or not.  My husband is MUCH more private.  SO, writing this blog comes with much thought and sometimes hesitation.  How much do I share for me (since it's my life) and how much do I NOT share for him (since it's his life too)?  I say this so you understand when I don't give specifics, I'm trying to honor him and me.   

I have no idea what 2011 holds but I hope it holds much more happiness, satisfaction and ease for everyone, no matter your circumstances.